New Neighbour
by Tenebrae Vesper
Summary: Bugs and Squeaks learn that they have a new neighbour, so they decide to meet him and help him with moving in. Only that Bugs' new neighbour turns out to be the infamous genius Wile E. Coyote, who refuses their help and decides to use his technological resources instead of typical manual labour. You can guess what happens next…


Okay, guys. I already wrote one Looney Tune (well, actually The Road Runner Show-type) fic about Wile E. Coyote called **Black Sheep,** which stays true to the classic Looney Tunes cartoons.

This fic is more based on the new show **Wabbit. A Looney Tunes Production** (somewhere known as **Bugs. A Looney Tunes Production** ), specifically on episodes like _Leaf It Alone, Bugs in the Garden, Aromatherapest, Coyote. Rabbit. Squirrel. -_ basically episodes starring Wile E. as Bugs' know-it-all neighbour with a knack for using complicated technological gizmos in everyday situations.

This one is how I imagined what happened when Wile E. first moved in and became Bugs' neighbour.

P. S. There was actually an episode in the classic Looney Tunes where Wile E. went to Bugs' rabbit hole and put a telephone next to it, calling Bugs and introducing himself as his new neighbour and asking for a cup of sliced carrots. Bugs was so nice to bring it to him, only to end up tied to a stake and with Wile E. trying to make rabbit stew out of him. You can already see where that one goes. It's called _COMpressed Hare._

 _I hope you'll enjoy it!_

* * *

 **New Neighbour**

 _Bugs and Squeaks learn that they have a new neighbour, so they decide to meet him and help him with moving in. Only that Bugs' new neighbour turns out to be the infamous genius Wile E. Coyote, who refuses their help and decides to use his technological resources instead of typical manual labour. You can guess what happens next…_

''Ahh, mmmhh, you're my favorite carrot…'' A grey-white bunny muttered in sleep, obviously dreaming of carrots.

BANG!

''Agh!'' He shoot up, completely awake, as he suddenly heard something crashing. ''What in the world is goin' on?''

What followed was a beeping noise, as if a truck was going backwards and somebody was yelling. The rabbit, Bugs Bunny, got out of his bed and looked through the window. Indeed, there was a truck in the yard next door and a lot of large boxes around it. Bugs knew that the house was on sale for months, but nobody wanted to buy it, considering it looked like it was in a deserted wasteland.

''Huh, so somebody's movin' in?'' Bugs muttered, quite surprised. ''I guess I should go and greet my new neighbour!''

Bugs quickly got out, walking over to the fence which seperated the two backyards. He saw a truck and two men were unloading the content, mostly consisting of furniture and boxes, and placing it in the middle of the yard. Bugs looked around, curious about who the new neighbour might be.

Cue a crash sound.

''Hey, watch out! It stands _FRAGILE_ on it!'' A male voice yelled at the two workers who shrugged it off and basically dropped the box. Cue more crashing sounds. ''Those were the porcelain dishes!''

Bugs noticed that the voice belonged to a male canine with brown fur – a coyote. And to his dismay, he already knew that one. Still, if he was the new neighbour, then Bugs should at least act civil to him.

''Hey, helloooo! New neighbour!'' Bugs waved excitedly.

The coyote turned around, noticing the rabbit. He winced as he heard another crashing sound, the two workers reclessly handling his furniture, fuming inside. Still, he calmed down and walked over to the fence, recognizing the rabbit.

''Ahh, if that isn't Bugs Bunny.'' The coyote said.

''Hey Wile E., I haven't seen you for a long time. I didn't know you were moving here.'' Bugs said.

''Well, I thought that a little change of locations would do some good.'' Wile E. said. Bugs looked past him with a confused look on his face, considering the new location looked awfully similar to Wile E.'s previous home.

''So, do you need some help with moving your stuff into your new home?'' Bugs asked.

''No, no, the workers will handle it.'' Wile E. pointed behind. He then blinked confusion when he heard the truck driving away and turned around, his ears dropping. All of his stuff was still in the yard and the workers didn't bother to put it inside.

''Really?'' Bugs looked at him with a smug smile.

''Yes. I can handle it myself.'' Wile E. told him and walked away, annoyed. Bugs simply chuckled and walked back into his own house.

 **xXx**

''Dam-da-deee…'' Bugs hummed a little melody as he took the carrot cake out of the oven. He wanted to be nice and make him a welcome cake. He put it on the table and started to decorate it with a fancy _''Welcome Wile E.!''_ icing. ''I wonder how he's doing.''

He looked through the window, noticing that Wile E. was reading some manual, standing next to a large box which he ordered from the ACME company. On it stood ''Worker-bots''. He then threw the manual away and opened the box. Out of it came three robots around Bugs' height.

''This'll do it.'' Wile E. rubbed his hands in satisfaction as the robots started to lift the furniture and move it into his house. He noticed Bugs gawking. ''I told you I don't need any help. Not when technology does all the work for me.''

''Nice.'' Bugs commented, spotting a smug smirk. ''But I think that your robots don't really like each other.''

''Huh?'' Wile E. turned out, doing a wild take when he saw the robots starting a brawl. Apparently, one of the 'bots bumped into the other while moving in the couch, breaking a vase the other was holding. The latter jumped at the former and now they were tearing gears out of each other, with Wile E. looking horrified while Bugs was rather amused as the robots broke down. Not to mention, they also knocked over the Road Runner-styled bird bath.

''You know, I could help you if you politely ask for it.'' Bugs said, still grinning, casually leaned against the fence. ''We could easily carry the boxes inside…''

''There is no need for any primitive methods!'' Wile E. replied.

''Primitive?'' Bugs rose an eye-brow.

''Yes, primitive.'' Wile E. replied. ''Why should I do any of the manual labour when I have technology working for me?''

Bugs gave an aside glance and waved with his hand as he left.

''Okay then. But, like I said, if you need any help, you can ask me.'' He said.

Wile E. frowned, turning back to the robots. Yep, he'll need to fix them.

 **xXx**

As Bugs got inside the kitchen, he saw a familiar red squirrel admiring his carrot cake.

''Oh, hey Squeaks!'' Bugs greeted the squirrel. ''What are you doing here?''

Squeaks made a bunch of squeaks, basically saying how he followed the scent of the freshly baked carrot cake and wondered for who it was made.

''Oh, this cake is for Wile E.'' Bugs replied.

Cue to Squeaks looking at him with a _''Are you for real?''_ expression.

''Yeah. He's my new neighbour, so I thought I'd make a cake for him. So, what do you think?'' Bugs asked as he put the rest of the icing. ''Looks good, ha?''

Squeaks nodded in agreement, chattering happily in squirrel. He then looked through the window, doing a bunch of squeak noise and pointing at what was going on outside.

''Hey, what is it Squeaks?'' Bugs looked through the window.

This time, Wile E. repaired the robots, using a remote control to make sure they would do the job this time.

''I see you repaired the 'bots.'' Bugs said as he exited his house along with Squeaks.

''Yes, and this time, nothing will go wrong.'' Wile E. said nonchalantly as the robots moved one piece of heavy furniture after another.

''Better knock on wood, or you'll jinx yourself.'' Bugs told him, with Squeaks knocking on the wooden part of the fence.

''Hahah, you are really funny.'' Wile E. laughed. ''You and your little superstitions.''

Cue to the remote in his hands sparking. Wile E. looked at it, rather baffled.

''What's wrong now?'' he started to press the buttons wildly. ''Com'n! You stupid remote!''

Meanwhile, the Worker-bots were also sparking. One of them was arranging the garden furniture and putting back the Road Runner-styled bird bath. Once the robot started to spark and sizzle, he started to grab the furniture and throw it around. Then, he grabbed the bird bath and threw right at Wile E., who had an _Oh, crap!_ look on his face. The thing hit him, breaking his remote.

''Ugh, oh…'' Bugs' and Squeaks' eyes widened as they saw the robots speeding around in the backyard like crazy.

''What?'' Wile E. managed to get the bird bath off him, only to see the robots shaking. ''No, no, this was not supposed to happen!''

He ran towards the robots.

''Wile E. wait!'' Bugs tried to warn him, but…

 **BOOM!**

The robots exploded. Wile E. tumbled back to Bugs and Squeaks, having soot all over his face and front part of body.

"I tried to warn ya." Bugs said. "Are you alright?"

"This... is not... over yet..." Wile E. said, holding up a finger and then fell over. Bugs and Squeaks exchanged glances and shrugged.

 **xXx**

"There." Bugs looked satisfied as he put the cake into a box. He looked at Squeaks. "Let's bring it over to Wile E."

Squeaks simply jumped on Bugs' shoulder, saying something in squirrel. He looked like he'd rather be the one to eat the cake.

"Eh, whatever." Bugs shrugged to what Squeaks said. "Let's get over with it."

The two walked over to the fence, Bugs holding the cake. He walked into Wile E.'s backyard, which was surprisingly clean. It seemed like coyote managed to get all the stuff inside.

"Oh, Wile E.! I have something for you!" Bugs called out, knocking on the door.

Cue to a new robot opening the door and coming out. It held a feather duster. Bugs and Squeaks looked surprised. Then Wile E. walked out.

"So, what do you say? Impressive, isn't it?" Wile E. was grinning. "I ordered a new one and it works like a Swiss clock. It's a much better model."

"Well, I am impressed." Bugs said, him and Squeaks peeking into the house. Everything was neatly arranged.

"Of course it is." Wile E. patted the robot. "This one is not only good for manual labour, but it also cleans the house and manages the garden."

"I see. Anyways, I brought you a welcome cake." Bugs gave the box to him. "It's one of my famous carrot cakes."

"Oh, thank you." Wile E. opened the box, pleased with the gift. "Shall we eat it in the garden?"

"Sure. Why not." Bugs said, shrugging.

The three sat at the table in the garden, the robot bringing the plates, forks and knife.

"Now watch this." Wile E. held up a remote and pressed a button. The robot sliced the cake in equal pieces.

"This seems to be quite handy." Bugs said.

"Well, what can I say? After all, I am a genius!" Wile E. said. Squeaks looked also impressed. In fact, the squirrel was so impressed that he, when Wile E. put the remote down, took it and pressed some buttons. The robot started to shake.

"Hey, what are you doing? This is a delicate device!" Wile E. grabbed the remote back. Only it was too late.

The robot smashed through the table, Bugs and Squeaks jumping out if it's way. It turned to them.

"Eh, Wile E.? I don't like the look this robot us givin'!" Bugs panicked, with Squeaks holding on the top of his head.

"Don't worry! A genius like me can handle it." Wile E. smashed the off button.

"Ehh, doc? It ain't workin'!" Bugs yelled as the robot pulled out lasers and started to fire around.

"This must be jammed." Wile E. still focused on the remote, not noticing that Bugs and Squeaks were chased by a wild robot firing laser blasts at them, screaming for help.

''Watch out!'' Bugs yelled as he and Squeaks separated. Bugs jumped behind a tree, with the robot blasting through it and firing at Bugs, who kept on running. ''Wile E., turn it off!''

Wile E. ignored him, glaring at the remote.

''This thing is good for nothing.'' He said. Bugs suddenly stopped in front of him, grabbing the remote and stomped on it.

''What have you done?!'' Wile E. yelled at him.

''Hey, I'm tryin' to stop that robot and it's obvious your remote ain't workin'!'' Bugs yelled back.

The two glared at each other, with Squeaks standing between them and frantically yelling something in squirrel, pointing at the robot.

''Not now Squeaks!'' Bugs said.

''You really have no appreciation for technology.'' Wile E. said.

''Yeah! Because it almost killed me!'' Bugs replied.

As they kept on with their glaring contest, Squeaks turned to the robot, which suddenly grew in size, turning into a Transformer (Decepticon variation). He squeaked in fear and got onto Bugs' head, turning it towards the robot.

''What is it now-ohhh!'' Bugs and Wile E.'s eyes widened when they realized they had now to deal with a huge robot.

''This is bad news.'' Bugs muttered.

''I agree.'' Wile E. said as the two glanced at each other. The robot screeched at them.

''RUN!'' Bugs yelled and the three scattered around.

The robot went first after Wile E., destroying his garden in the process with it's lasers. Wile E. hid behind a rock, staring at the robot in fear. The robot stepped forwards, crushing the Road Runner-styled bird bath.

''Hey, what do you think you're doing?! That wasn't cheap!'' Wile E. yelled at the robot, then ducked when the robot fired at him, turning the rock into ashes. Wile E. opened his eyes, yipping in fear and dodging the next laser blast.

Meanwhile, Bugs went to his yard, grabbing a water hose.

''Hey! Tin can!'' Bugs yelled at the robot. It turned towards him, red eyes glowing and fired laser blasts at the rabbit. Bugs quickly dodged the blasts. ''How about some water? Ye look thirsty!''

The robot stepped into Bugs' garden, smashing his carrots and pointed his blaster at him.

''Squeaks, now!'' Bugs yelled, the squirrel turning on the hose. Bugs sprayed the water all over the robot.

The robot started to spark and twirl, firing laser blasts and destroying a good part of Bugs' garden.

''Woa!'' Bugs dodged the blasts.

 **BOOM!**

Then, it finally exploded into tiny pieces.

Wile E. and Bugs walked over to the fence, staring at the damage at their backyards. It looked like a battle field. Both were simply stunned. Bugs looked at Wile E., opening his mouth to say something, but Wile E. held up his hand.

''No need for that.'' He said, knowing very well what the rabbit wanted to ask. ''I'd appreciate your help.''

''My garden also needs to be fixed.'' Bugs added.

Cue to a familiar squeaking sound.

Bugs and Wile E. both turned to the source, glaring at Squeaks, the one who messed with the remote control in the first place.

Squeaks gulped.

 **xXx**

''See? A bit relaxin' always does some good.'' Bugs said as he took a sip of lemonade. He was lying in a comfy chair, sharing drinks with Wile E. who was lying in a chair next to him.

''Indeed. Moving can be so stressful.'' Wile E. said.

The two glanced over at Squeaks, who was forced to clean up both backyards.

''Just keep goin' Squeaks! You're doin' a nice job!'' Bugs encouraged the squirrel. Squeaks muttered something under his breath, looking pretty annoyed. ''There's nothing better but the ol' hard work.''

''Tsk, hard work.'' Wile E. chuckled. ''I already proved that technology is far superior.''

''No, you didn't get me. In order to get the job done, you have to work hard.'' Bugs sat up.

''Any hard work can be easily done by using the right technological gadget.'' Wile E. replied, sitting up as well, glaring at Bugs.

''No, hard work is better!''

''Technology!''

''Hard work!''

''Technology!''

 _''Hard work!''_

 _''Technology!''_

Squeaks rolled his eyes, giving an aside glance, which clearly said _Are they serious?_.

Considering the two were now neighbours, somebody should expect that there will be a lot's of upcoming trouble between the two.


End file.
